I have a 14-year old who is usually very nice and attentive, but has a serious gripe with 1.) graciously celebrating the birthdays of family members; and 2.) writing thank-you notes for gifts received. She REFUSES to buy or make small gifts for parents and siblings (it comes to yelling and tears when asked), and often refuses to acknowledge that it is a special occasion for someone else. Thank-you notes also reduce her to tears, and she often takes months to write them. Withholding her gifts is not motivating–she’d rather NOT write a thank-you note than have $50 from Grandma. What gives? Any solutions or ideas from anyone?